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Some things about friendship I discovered this past year, and some thoughts.
Always take the high road.
FIRST – what a friend IS.
True friends love and respect you.
Friends root for you.
Friends replenish you.
Friendship is loving.
Friendship is enduring.
Friends make you feel good about being around them.
Friends make you proud, as you in turn make your friends proud.
Friendship is sacred.
SECOND – what a friend is NOT
Friendship is never about making another person feel bad about themselves, it is not about poisoning you or others.
Friends do not try to hurt you more than they love you.
Friends don’t try to stunt your growth rather than clap for it.
Friends don’t name call, friends are not mean – and meanness is apparent – especially as we age, a face can turn very hard, ugly, and wrinkled from storing all that bitterness and hatred.
Friends don’t bring you stress rather than peace.
Friends don’t gossip about you. A RED Flag….when you hear someone talk smack about her other friends. Don’t think for a moment that you are immune to this. She will trash you at some point. Friends just don’t talk shit about their friends.
Trying to make sense of a hurtful friendship. Some Lessons learned
I started this blog in 2018, as a way to make sense of a very painful and nasty encounter with a woman once considered to be a friend of mine. She was not.
In blogging about friendship,
I am learning about truth and honesty, how to be a good friend and how to treat all sorts of people that I interact with, and treating people with dignity. I’m learning about what and who is really important in my life. I can’t be friends with everybody…nor do I want to – but everyone has a story and a truth, some truths just might not gel very well with mine.
And the beauty is,
I am freeing myself and allowing new growth and looking at new experiences with an open heart. Yes – I’m sure I will be hurt again. But I am really happy with myself for overcoming an ugly situation and person and trusting my instincts. And, I consider it a win turning this very hurtful experience into a positive one. A saying that I think about is; hurt me once – shame on you, hurt me twice – shame on me. An amazing thing happening to me from writing this blog is learning about the things that really matter to me, welcoming in a softness, a calmness, a wisdom; and trying to replace the hardness and anxieties of life.
Never talk trash about another . As painful as it may be , and no matter how low someone else goes (and it might get very low), take the high road. In the end it is you and you alone that you are accountable to.
Not sure where I read this, but – it certainly holds true: Never say mean words out of anger. Your anger will pass. But your mean words can scar a person for life. So use kind words or be silent. One thing I know for sure: BE KIND.
Be a true friend.