I believe that the current conditions in our country have led us down a very dark and mean and ugly path. It seems to now be ok to bully people, call people names, and lie. Words are very powerful, and can turn very ugly and hurtful, and it’s hard to take them back. Hateful words are extremely damaging. Are we living in a society that now condones name calling and doesn’t seem to feel that there is anything wrong with bad mouthing another who does not share your sentiments? Are we living in a society that would rather hurt another and/or damage another’s reputation?
I have started this blog because I had a very painful, horrible confrontation with a ‘so-called’ friend and neighbor – who I will call Nol. One morning she felt it was her duty to verbally accost me on my street – she got in my face – and she was ‘fugly‘. Her name calling and ranting and screaming got so nasty, I even attempted to walk away from her as she became more and more offensive. I was dumbfounded and shaken and rocked to the core. I thought so much about how things like this happen – and how a person could turn so ugly. I later also heard from other neighbors that she was also talking major smack about me to them. I questioned WHY? My personal encounter/experience with Nol was also pretty bizarre and bewildering in that Nol had always prided herself on being a good Christian. I am not sure what she thinks, but I know “good Christians” – there are lots of genuinely good Christians, genuinely good people. Unfortunately in these past 2 years people like Nol, people who hide behind this cloak of Christianity, spout Biblical references, and seem to believe that they can mistreat others who are different from them are voicing their hatred and anger. And it is shocking. This is so hypocritical, and I can’t fathom how this is an example of being a good Christian, much less a good person. GOLDEN RULE : The most familiar version of the Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
I’m still working my way through this experience. In my journey, I have thought a lot about friends, friendships, and what being a good friend really means. I know I have a great group of friends. But, taking many steps backwards, and feeling pretty shattered I began to examine and ponder the meaning of friendship, and what being an honest, caring, sharing person looks like. I will continue to explore and grow. I turned to blogging in the hopes of continued healing and also to share thoughts, ideas, experiences. I’m done writing about Nol. She is becoming inconsequential to me. But – in a very strange way I might be grateful to her, as she was the impetus for this blog, and she put me on my friendship path.
This past year has been an eye opener. We all make choices every day. I want my choices to revolve around being decent and respectful of others. I chose to have friends that are kind and generous with themselves and others. 💖 People who would never ever think of hurting a friend. Yes, there are some very mean-spirited people out there…. I chose to believe it is their own insecurities and/or their low self esteem that have overtaken them – but – even knowing that, I have decided that either I can not be friends with them, or in some cases – I was never friends with them at all.
“When people show you who they are, believe them” — Dr. Maya Angelou